Slip-dick

Slipknot Sucks!

When I heard the noisy shit the for the first time I though to myself, "this just can't be real!". It was introduced to me through the benevolent corteousy of a fine young man, an absolute genius. I heard that they tuned down way way low, super cool man, right? And I also noticed that (It was on a video) that they tuned their guitars into fifths (or at least the 6th string)! Now, for those of you who don't know anything about guitars (which is ok), the low down of tuning into fifths, is basically that you can make a power chord with the push of one finger. Pussies. Where in the hell is the balls in that?

Another thing I noticed also, is the drums. Wow, they sound a lot like KoRn, eh? Loosen up the heads until it feels like you're hitting a peice of paper, and sounds just as attractive, too! Cool, right? I bet if there were 75' cymbals out there from some company called FUCK! inc. they would buy that bullshit too! "Wow, hear how low that was? They must be heavy!" But damn, I thought, he's going fast! Damn he can move! Oh yeah wait, there are three percusionists, complete with twigs and beer kegs! Ha!

Holy shit does that "vocalist" have a flat, ugly, pale face. Maybe that's what he's screaming about, he sounds pretty pissed off...maybe he's pissed about the ridicule he was given for his strange appearance as a small child. Perhaps for the paleness he should visit the Endless Sun Tanning Salon. They have a great staff. And maybe for the flatness, he should have number 7 or maybe number 4 beat the piss out of him on stage. I'm sure he'll get some lumps then.

Any kind of bullshit that may be possible to do, to get high school kids talking about their band, you'll be sure to see them do it. Lighting themselves on fire, standing on turntables and falling off, causing hemorrages, beating the shit out of eachother, etc. The stunts I see for publicity are so fucking juvenille and stupid. What happened to music? What the hell ever happened to playing music on a fucking stage, and letting it all be about the music? They are not about the music, I don't care what anyone says. No band can be about the music when they create noise with no musical value whatsoever.

Interesting Quotes

Slipknot Unmasked!

Watch out for that drumset, #6!

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